Super Powers

I think every child at some point fantasizes about having super powers. The recent explosion of comic book-inspired films has probably only made this more common. All the comic books, TV shows, movies, and video games paint this picture of what they think it would be like to have these powers. The problem is that even if the powers were possible, the situations the heroes are placed in are not very plausible. If you look at it with a realistic perspective, the usefulness of these powers would probably not be worth it.

For example, if I had Wolverine's ability to heal my own wounds, smell things from far away, and have bones made out of metal, the only thing that would probably be differently is the amount of money I'd save on health insurance and band-aids. That is if I had the option to not pay for insurance. I wouldn't be able to fly because the metal detectors in the airport would go off and I wouldn't be able to get on the plane, I'd have to avoid going near bathrooms because of my heightened sense of smell. Even the ability to fly would get old. Sure you'd save money on airfare, but it would be difficult to take any luggage or your family. Birds can fly, but they don't seem to have much of an advantage.

If I could read people's minds, I could probably headline in Vegas and make some good money, but I'm not very good at speaking in front of large crowds so I probably wouldn't even be able to do that.

I bet Superman could make a good living in construction, but since he wouldn't be able to produce a valid birth certificate, good luck trying to get a job here in AZ. Law enforcement doesn't pay very well and would be pretty tedious with all of the domestic disturbances and traffic stops. The only career that genetically superior people would be able to profit from would be professional sports. And how long do you think that would last. The Hulk only gets strong when he loses his temper. He'd get thrown out of the game the second he pulled the arms off of a referee for making a bad call.

Growing up is depressing. If I could have one super power, it would be the ability to never realize the implausibility of my dreams.